And it got me thinking-- motherhood has so many new emotions and experiences, but the English language pretty much fails to describe half of them.
So I propose to begin a mommy dictionary--where moms can logon and reference words that will help them communicate with one another and navigate Babies 'R Us without going crazy.
Here's a draft to get us started:
Amplicos [am-pluh-kose] n.
The feeling of despondency that comes from surveying a mountain of laundry that will likely not be completed until all children are in college.
Milch [mihlch] v.
To make a sound (generally a cross between a groan and a sob) after getting spit up on immediately following a change into a clean outfit. You may milch particularly loudly after the 3rd outfit change of the morning.
Contramal [kon-truh-mahl] n.
The surge of wrath a woman experiences when her spouse says "I'm tired." Husbands are encouraged to not use words that imply weariness from the time of conception to their child's 18th birthday.
Dormanic [dawr-man-ik] adj.
Feeling controlled by the baby monitor (usually driven by fear). Persons suffering from Dormania are characterized by convulsively seizing the baby monitor and examining it for movement while hoping they imagined the sound.
Desperolog [des-pare-oh-log] n
The frenzied prayer uttered in the middle of the night for the baby to just fall asleep. Often characterized by making wild and unrealistic promises to God. i.e., "if you just let her fall asleep right now I promise I'll never ask you for anything again."
Primal Cognition [pri-muhl kog-nish-uhn] n
The unexplained phenonmenon where babies instinctually wake up at the worst possible moments. Prime examples include the minute after sitting down for dinner, moments after stepping into a hot bath, and about 2 seconds into mommy and daddy's "alone time."
But there's a few more that need to be added that also describe the more complex side of motherhood:
Miriful [meer-uh-fuhl] adj.
Feeling joy and contentment from your baby looking into your face and smiling for the first time.
Credamore [kree-da-mohr] v.
The deepening of a marriage that follows the birth of your first child. Often characterized by an increase in trust and dependence on one another.
Ledenfove [led-in-fohv] n.
The despair a mother feels when she walks out of the door on her first day back to work.
So what about you? What new emotions or experiences have you had since becoming a parent? Can you think of a word to describe it?
*Picture courtesy of April Waltz Photography