We’ve recently started doing Bible memory verses with Sarah, and this week’s verse is Psalms 56:3, “When I am afraid, I will put my trust in you.” She gets really excited anytime we practice, and she loves to recite it with her little best friend Mallory which is adorable. Mallory's mom (my friend Lindsey who is amazingly talented*) makes these epic cards with the verses we do every week.
Well today was one of those less-than-stellar parenting days where I feel like I’m running on empty. My patience is non-existent and the house is a disaster. So after (yet another) failed nap from the baby, we loaded up the car and I stealthily went through the Taco Bell drive through (see. sometimes I blog about healthy eating and love to lecture other people about the benefits of eating whole foods. but then I eat Taco Bell in secret).
I inhaled my cheesy Gordita crunch while driving down the interstate and chose to ignore Sarah’s persistent “what IS that mommy??” from the backseat. ("IT'S MOMMY'S SPECIAL SNACK"). At the bottom of the off ramp, I spotted a guy holding a cardboard sign who looked like a taco might cheer him up. So I rolled down the window and handed over the rest of the bag. Sarah was very interested in why I handed my special snacks to the man, and as I rolled up the window and pressed the gas pedal, I thought I would use this moment to redeem my other parenting fails by instilling a moral lesson. I said “that man was hungry, and the Bible tells us to feed those who are hungry.”
The second I said the word “Bible” her eyes absolutely LIT UP and slowly, she started saying, “when I am afraid…”
And in that moment, I actaully teared up.
She was making the connection.
It didn’t matter that I lost my temper 20 times with her that morning.
She kept going "...afraid, … I will put my trust…. in FOOD.”
She clapped her hands.
I actually slapped my forehead.
“Uhhhh. Baby… It’s not FOOD. We don’t want to put our trust in food. We put our trust in God.”
“Mommy I want a snack.”
Better luck tomorrow.
But in all seriousness, let us, as moms, give ourselves some grace. We are good at giving grace to our children, but not so much to ourselves (or our husbands!). God, the ultimate lavisher of undeserved grace, is never hesitant to shower me in blessings that I could never (and will never) earn.
On days like today, where I find myself just watching the clock, counting down to naptime (then bedtime), I CLING to promises found in scripture, specifically Proverbs 22:6. “Train up a child in the way he should go, even when he is old he will not depart from it.” I pray this verse over my girls, but more importantly I pray that even when I am not holding up my end of the bargain, that God shows me grace.
*my friend Lindsey Lo is super talented in all things art related! Check her out on Insta at lo_n_beh0ld