For me, motherhood is the perfect feeling I get when I sink my lips into Sarah’s chunky cheeks—and how it seems almost physically impossible for me to NOT kiss her a half-dozen times every time I pick her up.
Motherhood is the look I get from another mom when Sarah is having a meltdown. The one that says “been there, done that."
It’s the drop in the pit of my stomach when I hear the beep of the thermometer and see triple digits, and the worry that constantly threatens to overtake my peace of my mind. Motherhood is dealing with the the instant fear that hits so hard every time something happens to Sarah that it feels like a punch in the gut.
Motherhood is watching my relationship with my own mother grow and change, and it’s the way I look at my husband when he reads our daughter a bedtime story.
Motherhood is feeling like a fraud when I continually Google how to do almost everything, and watch other moms come to the rescue with advice and encouragement. It's the weight of Sarah on my chest when she finally surrenders to sleep in the rocking chair.
Motherhood is crying with a fellow mom when she suffers a miscarriage, and sharing in the broken-heartedness when a friend or sister battles infertility.
But let me also share what I think motherhood ISN’T.
It isn’t defined by whether you work or stay home. It’s not measured by whether you met your child for the first time in the O.R., the delivery room, the lobby of an orphanage or an airport. Motherhood doesn’t care if your baby was an “accident,” the result of years of trying and thousands of dollars spend in medications or procedures, or endless paperwork and home visits.
Motherhood isn’t determined by the presence or absence of stretch marks, weight gained or lost, C-section scars, or empty savings accounts.
Being a mother is so much more than all of that. For me, motherhood always comes full circle: it’s loving Sarah so much that her eternal destiny is my ultimate priority. It shapes the way I discipline and love her, and it pushes me to make my relationship with the Lord come first before everything else, because I know when Sarah sees the way her mom respects her dad, and how her dad loves her mom, it will lead her to a relationship with Him.
Motherhood is a gift from God; He lets us get a taste of what unconditional love looks and feels like so we can finally understand how much He loves us.